Friday, February 27, 2009


Since it is that time of year again (Lent), I thought I would post a little something about every Catholic's favorite Friday food - fish!

Somebody during lunch today just happened to bring up the Filet-O-Fish sandwich from McDonalds - and also included Burger King in this story. They had (or still have) an uncle that works at one of the processing docks or something for the so-called "fish" for these sandwiches. I really don't want to gross anybody out who really enjoys these sandwiches (my wife) so all I'll say is that they're choppin' up the bottom-feeders in the lake. Pretty much the worst possible fish you can find. Now, whether this is indeed a fact, I don't know. I could not find any research to prove or disprove this notion. All I know is that I do not eat these sandwiches for the same reason I don't eat McDonald's hamburgers. Their beef patties might be 100% beef, however one hamburger is made up of hundreds of different cows from dozens of different ranches. I would like a hamburger patty that came from a single cow please, thank you.

Enjoy your Friday fish everybody!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Public (Men's) Restrooms

I have a feeling I am only speaking to the male population with this entry, but I'm happy to inform women of the following issue - the mens restroom.

I'm assuming that since public restrooms became commonplace, people have been writing graffiti the stalls. Sit down, look to your left or right and read all the nice things people have written about other people. This is something that often gets the boys bathroom at the high school closed and locked. It was the same way when I was in high school - it was immature boys acting immature. Back in grade school, who knows what those bathrooms looked like, but I'm guessing we weren't the most accurate in the 4th or 5th grade - but again, it's 8 or 9 year-olds acting their age. The last time I checked, I haven't used a public restroom that said "Little Boys Room" or "Boys Bathroom." Most of them say "Men" or "Gentlemen" or maybe even "Guys." So then why do the bathrooms look like a grade school or high school bathroom? Seriously.

I am going to speak for all men right now and just say that men are disgusting - at least when it comes to the bathroom. I don't want to walk into the "Men's Room" and find an unflushed toilet, pee still in the urinal, chew in the urinal, toilet paper on the floor or a puddle anywhere near the urinal. The drains on the floor are for water, not another target for you to try and hit. And for gosh sakes people, wash your damn hands! I wouldn't be surprised to walk in on two grown men playing hockey with the urinal pucks. The chances of find pee on the floor or on the toilet seat is probably 60%.

The men that would use the bathroom at my previous employer would just amaze me - pretty much all of the above was expected on a daily basis, but what really would crack me up are not the people that leave without washing their hands, but it's the people who try and fake you out. Example: I walk in to do my business as another "man" is finishing up (by the way, it is not proper to whistle, talk, sing or make eye contact in the men's room). So this person finishes up and probably would have walked out without washing their hands - but because I am now in there, this person turns on the water and proceeds to act is if he is washing his hands - using no soap and not even attempting to use paper towel - and then just walks out. Seriously? OK buddy, if you are actually going to take the time to try and fool me that you just washed your hands like a good human being, why not just do it? At this same workplace bathroom, one particular individual would leave the newspaper he bought everyday in the stall when he was done as a good deed, because the next person is really going to want to read the newspaper you just had while you were taking a crap.

When I travel, I notice the quality of the restrooms at restaurants and gas stations - so the next time I go that route, I can plan out my stops accordingly. I would hate to walk into the men's restroom at Chili's again and have piss sitting in the urinal waiting for me - no thanks. Feel free to share your very own uplifting public restroom stories - and for all men out there, take the 45 seconds to wash your hands before you leave the restroom.

(sign in Peru telling men not to pee on the floor)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


I admit that I'm too lazy to go out and find statistics on this, but how effective are infomercials? How many people watch these things are think, "Wow, I could not live the rest of my life without this product." I'm not even talking about the 30-minute paid programming specials that air from 3 am - 5 am or any channel not carrying sports on Sundays. Things like Mighty Putter, Bender Ball, Head On or those Space Bags that vacuum suck your entire closet into a bag so you can shove it under your bed and never get the clothes back out. Who buys this stuff? And I love the testimonials from the people who just bought the product, but yet tell everyone how great it is.

I have never even considering buying anything from watching a commercial, and I don't think I ever will (especially if it's being sold by Billy Mays, who thinks you will buy something from him because he screams into the camera). Recently, however, I have been very fascinated by the Shamwow commercials. Everytime it comes on I have to watch it - not because of the product but because of Vince (the guy with the headset). He probably could convince me to buy almost anything. Yesterday I was very excited when I saw his new infomercial. It's not quite as good as the groundbreaking Shamwow commercial, but it comes darn close. It's for a product called Slap Chop. Check it out, you'll be saying 'wow' everytime.

Original Version

Chop My Nuts Remix

Monday, February 2, 2009


Super is a word that doesn't seemed to be overly used in our society, but rather conveniently used in places that make sense. When I was in grade school, I would often (yes, often) received Super stickers on my assignments letting me know that I did a good job. At about the same time in my life I was playing Super Mario Brothers on the Super Nintendo. Sometimes places of business use the term Superstore to showcase that the store is bigger and better (i.e. Super Wal-Mart). Super glue is used because that Elmer's stuff just doesn't work on bobblehead dolls. McDonalds famously introduced us to Supersize - which also introduced a lot of people to obesity. The Super 8 motel....well, we'll forgive them for that one because there isn't anything super about that place.

Of course the most well known use of the word super is the Super Bowl. It's the biggest sporting event of the year - one in which advertisers will pay $3 million for a 30-second commercial. It's supposed to be the best of the best - and for the last two years, it hasn't let us down. I remember a lot of things about Super Bowls, but the last two had a little something extra 'super' about them. We witnessed two super catches.

Last year was this catch by David Tyree:

And for those of you who didn't get to witness the dramatic finish to this year's game, here is the catch that can only be described as 'super'

Not everything in this world can be super and not everybody in this world is super, but when you witness something super firsthand, you don't often forget it.